So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
