that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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