May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
