she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize