That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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