Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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