i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
