lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
