you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
