Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Text me some of your sweat
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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