she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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