party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
