Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
