plz talk dirty to me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
