Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
