Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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