We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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