1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
