Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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