He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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