all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
