He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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