If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
