The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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