omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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