i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
