How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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