Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
