She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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