this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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