I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
