Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
