No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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