is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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