I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
