i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
