jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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