Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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