i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize