They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
