I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
