PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
