It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
