You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
