sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
