At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
