he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
