I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
