I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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