So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize