It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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