you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
