she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
