why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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