And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
