if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
