Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
