i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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