My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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