But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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