i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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